LEGEND.
Updated: Jun 5, 2022
As a graduate, I fondly look back over my two years in the Clinical Mental Health program and remember more than just a field of study.
Some of us go back to school later in life for different life circumstances. Everything was changing in my life, and at times I felt completely alone and lost. It seemed that everywhere I turned, something was falling apart, or I lost what I had in my life for so long. My first class in the program was technically while I was still an undergraduate student. I remember wanting to know more about this path to receiving credit in both undergrad and graduate school with master level classes, so I wanted to ask the person in charge. When I arrived in the TJ Farr building, third floor, I was greeted by a GA and said it would be just a few minutes. I heard of this man by name and was told he had a lot to do within the program of counseling. Once I entered his office, he was kind, helpful, and inspired me to know that perhaps I could do this. Maybe my dream would become reality. He recommended what were great classes to take in the fast-track program, so I signed right up with Intro to Counseling (6300) class in the fall of 2019, with his expertise as professor.
I learned much more in that first class than just Ethics. I was still so new to this world, but this brilliant man would stand before us talking…. and I say, “talking” because it never felt like a lecture, nor did it feel he was instructing. He was talking; discussing with us, and sharing stories about his life, his experiences, and weaving details of importance with a shorthand of the counseling world he made interesting and even more important than I imagined.
I remember in one of those classes while he “talked,” he said our program was how it would be in the field with others to lean on, to reach out when we needed guidance or support. There isn’t competition, but simply a group of people all wanting to help that always help one another. If we ever felt lost or did not know what to do, we could reach out; through consultation, supervision, and what our fellow counselors are for. There was a day where different facets of my life were falling a bit apart, and I remembered his words. I felt hopeless, and not in the counseling world or field, but in my personal life. I remember how he said to always reach out for help. So, that is what I did. I made an appointment and went to his office for a meeting. I told him I was struggling and wanted to take his advice about asking for help. I remember this part so well. He folded his arms, lowered his head, and with a softness to his face he said,
“Lori, from the first time I met you, I saw you were going through something difficult. I could see it on your face. I saw your pain, and I was hoping one day I could help you in any way.” I told him my personal story about my life of many years of not knowing who I was or what my purpose was supposed to be. Feeling lost. Losing important relationships. Wondering and praying to God, who was I supposed to be. He thanked me for trusting him enough to open up. I kept it all inside when I was on campus. I wanted to be professional and remain focused on school. I carried it all alone. I carried so much, all alone. That’s when he said, “that stops today.” He reminded me what he said in class and how our program was…. And sincerely is…. Then he said,
“We’re family here. You never need to carry it alone because you have us now. We are here to get you through.”
I think this is where it started or perhaps was first discovered, but sitting in that chair in that moment, I felt like I knew who Lori was. I told him how campus was my sanctuary, my haven, my home. All the people, from professors to classmates, were what kept me going…. what gave me life. A purpose. Yes, I was somebody’s granddaughter, mother, and even wife for many years, but I absolutely and unequivocally found Lori on that campus, and most definitely in that moment.
From that first semester in Fast Track all the way to Family Counseling, Addiction Counseling, mentoring, chatting in the halls, or an email to check-in, I learned so much from this kind and gentle man. You see, I heard his name a thousand times, and I always wondered what it would be like meeting the professor everyone talked about, everyone respected so highly, and everyone looked up to. I finally met “the legend.” For years, that is what he was to me, or a mystery of someone whose reputation preceded them. But if I am to be truly honest, those two words are not enough to describe his lifetime experience and achievements, his heartfelt stories of people he is connected with through their addictions or mental health, and his authentic passion for all mankind.
He has multiple degrees, more hours working in the field that I could ever count, loads of continuing education, sitting on boards giving back to the field he loves, with endless hours grading papers, advising students, speaking with fellow faculty, making sure everyone is okay at his home, his church where he preaches, his office where he still counsels, and the nostalgic halls of TJ Farr where he walks from room to room with a slight grin and a full cup of coffee, no matter what time of day. No, none of that describes the complexity and genuineness of this man. Trust me when I say, I am doing him an injustice. He is so much more. My mind fails to produce enough ways to say how immeasurable he is needed, respected, and loved.
From only one he is called husband, from two he is called Dad with recently becoming a grandfather as well… For he is a son, a brother, a friend, a minister, a teacher, and our cherished professor, he is Dr. Loftis.
But for me… if I were to describe what I do for a living… the work of instilling hope, providing compassion & true empathy, and genuineness as the great Carl Rogers taught us...
Quite simply, I would pull out a picture of this man. This legend.
Because to me….
He IS Counseling.