It's a matter of Perception. . .
Updated: Nov 5, 2021
After going through years of struggle, and I say this without the intent of feeling sorry for myself, I've learned that life can get messy. It happens to the best of us. When I really started healing and finding my happiness is when I realized, life is not this one giant entity. It isn't all one connected string that cannot come apart.
I was married for many years to the love of my life. It ended. Recovering from that was a fiery storm I wouldn’t want to run back into or wish on anyone in this world, but understanding that this portion of my life was not my entire life’s story was the beginning to my hope and healing. I’m a divorced woman… it didn’t work out…. the love of my life and I didn’t make it “until death do us part.” But here’s a thought: my life isn’t over. It may have felt like it for a long time, but when people talk about the love of their life, does this mean we die the moment the relationship ends? That portion of my life came to an end. I loved, I enjoyed, I saw the world, I grew with this loving man that gave me a home and a family, but after that is a comma… NOT a period. Now, I’m in another chapter, another phase or volume of my life. Our world is created of a bunch of different links. Some are incredible, some are for learning, and some hurt beyond words. The key is, with each link or level, what do we do to better serve others? Do we stay on that level and grovel in the pity of what didn’t work the way we hoped, do we allow it to knock us down, or do we reach out and become closer to God, closer to knowing who we are, and more powerful & stronger to rise to the next level. It reminds me a bit of the games my son used to play. How many levels can you make it to? Can you reach your best score!
During each chapter of life, we have take-aways that can help us grow into better people or we can remain in fear or bitterness without ever changing. Somewhere in that mess of fear, pain, and all the muddiness of things not going as we planned lies a great gift that goes too often ignored. Deep into that darkness of the unknown is where we find our purpose. This might be our forever purpose or just for a chapter, but God always gives us purpose. It’s up to us to view this as growth and not death. Can you get through the dirt and stench of your mistakes, others’ mistakes, and move on to make it to the next step? Can you see that when it comes down to just you and a moment alone with your thoughts, the loneliness, the questions, the processing of everything coming together inside of you; can you see that there’s purpose even in that?
Your voice, that inner voice that only you hear: do you truly know how to listen? Do you judge yourself and question everything you say, or can you trust God enough in the process in knowing you are not alone?
I believe some of our greatest fears can be wondering if anyone understands what we are going through. In the deepest and darkest hours, we feel as if no one else could possibly understand. What is wrong with me? We all know that feeling. Human connection is the key to healing and growing. When we converse and learn about other’s experiences, we realize, we really aren’t alone at all.
I know when God created me, when He thought of the existence of Lori, He didn’t think in a one or two-dimensional way. HE created me to have different levels. I have gone through life in different patterns and phases, and nothing too quickly or not fast enough, but exactly where He wanted me and at the right time. We must stop analyzing the timing of everything and cherish what is right before us. We often race to get to the open meadow filled with flowers and sunshine, but while wandering through the dark forest, what are we missing? What if the forest is temporary but to move on, you must find and conquer what’s inside? What if the forest is for several years and where you find your amazing utopia if you risk becoming vulnerable, uncomfortable, learn to stretch out, and open your eyes to see? No matter your age, your circumstance, or where you are in life right now, there's beauty in today. Don’t rush to find something greater. Embellish yourself in the moment of today. Know that the meadow will always be there, but spending time in the forest is needed. God is in all places if we look. He never leaves us, and not even in the forest. There is true beauty inside.
Besides, if you’ve ever watched one of the great classics by the famous Walt Disney, you’ve learned by now, there are often hunters in the meadow anyway!
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